Feb. 26, 2009 at 2:58pm

Singing the Blues: Delivering on your promise

Posted by Guest Blogger in Community Relations, Planning and Strategy
Comments (1)

My big Mr. Blue health insurance company sent me an HTML newsletter based on its customer Web site, which I’ll call, “MyRudeness.com.” In spite of Mr. Blue’s statement that my experience with its Web site is important, my real experience was the opposite. I share my story in hopes it may help you. And I offer some tests that you can use to avoid similar traps.

I am in search of a simple question: “Is there a place where I can go get my cholesterol checked for a low out-of-pocket cost, maybe $30 or $40, so I don’t have to use the valuable, nonbillable time of my doctor, her staff and the health care system she works for, and so I can avoid an expensive lab bill?” I truly want to do my part to reduce health care costs.

Mr. Blue throws plenty of obstacles in my path:

#1 Don’t I have to get to the site to use it? 
First, I can’t get to the site from the HTML e-mail newsletter, let alone get to the member login. So I type the Web site into my browser.

Test: Link from your HTML document to the login. Test it yourself, off site, on dumber equipment and slower pipelines.

#2 I just want my password! 
At the login, I can’t remember my username and my password. So I look for the “forgot your password” help that is on most sites. There is none.

Not being able to log in, I have the choice of online or voice help. I try online and watch the timer turn for many minutes. (I’m generous in saying I waited at least three minutes.) The message assures I am #1 in the queue.

Test: Pick your site’s busiest day and time, try opening it and start counting aloud, “one thousand one, one thousand two…” At “one thousand one hundred eighty” you’ve reached three minutes. Check your pulse.

#3 My opinions DO matter? Oh…guess not 
So I give up and call the phone number. While waiting, the auto-voice tells me to push 1 if I want to stay on the line to share my opinions about my experience. Oh, good, you really do care! And I’m a curious marketer and will check it out. In three attempts “push 1” becomes “pound 1” then “smack 1.” No connection with a survey or opinion poll.

After many failed attempts to reset my password, a human being finally tells me I can’t use a space between my first and last name in my username. On top of that, after three failed attempts to log in, I get locked out. My human helper gets me unlocked and logged in. Clear sailing. Except nobody comes on the line with the opportunity to share my experience.

Test: Are your instructions clear about how customers can contact you with concerns? Don’t promise what is complicated to deliver.

#4 I’m in! Can I please ask my question now?
Logged in, I poke around the site trying to find a forum or some other place where I can ask my cholesterol-screening question. My only hope appears to be a “contact us” area from which I can send an e-mail question. I expected a forum or a quick online answer. I type in my question, hit send and get, “Sorry, this function has timed out.”

Test: Do you have areas that time out before your customer can complete his or her business?

#5 My keypad must be broken
I find the phone number for questions or problems with the Web site. When I dial it I get a nice, regular claims-handling customer service person who has nothing to do with the Web site. He says he can give me a different number than the one on the Web site. So that I don’t go shunted back to square one, I ask him to transfer me instead, which he does. Oh, I am asked to hit 1 (a placebo as far as I can tell) to take the customer service survey which never happens.

Test: How often do you check the phone numbers, addresses, links and all those things nobody checks because they just have to be right and nobody has ever corrected you?

#6 Where’s the Z?
Now transferred, a voice tells me to enter my member ID number on my phone keypad. My member card clearly shows my ID number starting with ZLF999… Now maybe your keypad has a Z, but I sure can’t find it on my landline phone. I feel like the voice defaults to “Hang on until I find someone who cares.” Eventually I get a person.

She makes it clear that she isn't going to let my concern be any concern of hers. I think she is a tech administrator, which has nothing to do with customer service.

She ignores my complaint about the failed “push 1” attempts to take the customer service survey. Regarding my comment that her Web site won’t send you your password when you forget, she simply says, “Ours doesn’t.” And of the inability to enter the ZLF in my ID number due to the lack of a Z on a phone keypad, she simply says that the first three letters are not actually part of the ID, in spite of the fact that letters and numbers run together without spaces on my ID card. Well of course, how could I be so stupid?

Test: Do your customer service people take for granted how things work? Do they treat your customers as if they actually care what they think? Do they care? Can you at least teach them to fake it?

Lessons:
Observe a variety of beginners navigating through your online and phone experience, trying your e-mail links and all the Web functions. Watch them dial the wrong numbers you have published and struggle with protocols that aren’t what they are used to. See if your promised customer service opinion survey works. Listen to how the customer service person treats customers trying to save you time and money. Do you really care, Mr. Blue?

Kurt Jacobson is president of JayRay 

Comments (1)

2/26/09 A week later and MyRudeness.com has not e-mailed a reply or acknowledged my e-mail.
1 | Left by Kurt Jacobson | Feb. 26, 2009 at 3:55pm

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